As you know, I am an educated 25 year old African (non-American) male, built like a bouncer and a self proclaimed man amongst boys ... with a number exceptions. I am Real World addict, I have a legal admiration of Mylie Cyrus' musical works, an inexplicable infatuation with Kelly Clarkson's music and a very reluctant love for the Britney's new single "Piece of Me". Holy cow I love that song but I really wanna hate Britney just because she appears to be annoyingly idiotic. I hate to say that because that's the job of bully pulpit, high horse riding members of the media but Obi 6'4 230lbs The voice in the Wilderness gets around on low riding ponies so he doesn't criticize.
About that Real World on MTV thing. Hold your stones fellow real men. I can explain. See ... forget it ... alright just don't throw at my head. Done? Moving on ... I haven't missed a show in 5 seasons. I have a Bret Farve streak going here. I even stuck around for the entire Denver season which set me so far back the evolutionary scale that I had a temporary hunch and a mane on my back. I encourage you guys to start watching the show because its a testament to how far humans still have to go in evolutionary terms. I will try to offer a summary on each show going forward. This season we're in Sydney Australia.
Previously on The Real World...
Trisha hits Parisa and exclaims "Dad I just pushed a fat chic!". Stay classy, Trisha, stay classy. Parrisa retaliates by pushing Trisha out of the house. According to Rule 13 Section B Item 7 of your Real World on MTV rule book the fate of the house member who resorts to physical violence shall rest in the hands of the victim. I always carry that rule book and a spork in my back pocket. The spork's handy when free food breaks out unexpectedly but cutlery runs out before the ziti does. Regular occurrence at my college. I digress but please get used to it because I will do that a lot. Sans Trisha, the 2 girls left, Ashli and Kellyann, are pissed at Parisa for apparently being such a big target for physical violence. This is inexplicable because Trisha is the world's most annoying, self-centered, disconnected from reality, and immature bitch even by Real World bitch standards. In what looked like a obvious campaign for the now empty throne of mother bitch Kellyann and Ashli engage in the old tradition of spitting at a glass door while in a drunken stupor. Oh yeah, it was the glass door of the phone room with Parrisa in it. Ha! that should show her.
Now to the week that was...
The Week's Show...
Isaac is back. I love Isaac. I have a man crush on Isaac. He's on my short list for man of the year. He always seems to say exactly what I would say if I found myself on the set of the show. Not surprisingly his response to Trisha leaving was pretty much good riddance, saying to Kellyann .." hell no I don't like Trisha, nobody liked Trisha". Isaac being the man of the year candidate he is gives the other member of "Team Trisha", Ashli, an opportunity to list the redeeming qualities of Trisha. Here's the exhaustive list:
1.Trisha was fun to party with.
The End
Ashli and Kellyann are shown eating at a restaurant and apparently an epiphany was slipped into their drinks. Soon comes a sudden realization by the wicked witches of Sydney that Trisha was worse than most bitches. Now Kellyann wants to literally kiss and make up (or out) with Parisa. To my disappointment it looks like Parisa will forgive her (and yeah also disappointed they didn't make out). I was hoping Parisa would spit at Kellyann. Why do I feel so strongly about that? I need help.
In other developments... Dunbar and Ashli are now spooning every night but Dunbar makes a point to tell Ashli how much he loves his girlfriend, Julie, and doesn't want to cheat on her. Well you idiot then stop spooning Ashli, Dunbass. This is really like lighting a dynamite hooked up to ton of C-4 with all your kids gathered around the explosives to play "lets see who can let the dynamite rope burnt longest without exploding... blindfolded". Sooner or later someone will run out of rope. Predictably, Dunbar ends up boinking Ashli but doesn't tell the girlfriend only saying "You just might hate me... I'll tell you later".
Coming up Next Week
About that Real World on MTV thing. Hold your stones fellow real men. I can explain. See ... forget it ... alright just don't throw at my head. Done? Moving on ... I haven't missed a show in 5 seasons. I have a Bret Farve streak going here. I even stuck around for the entire Denver season which set me so far back the evolutionary scale that I had a temporary hunch and a mane on my back. I encourage you guys to start watching the show because its a testament to how far humans still have to go in evolutionary terms. I will try to offer a summary on each show going forward. This season we're in Sydney Australia.
Previously on The Real World...
Trisha hits Parisa and exclaims "Dad I just pushed a fat chic!". Stay classy, Trisha, stay classy. Parrisa retaliates by pushing Trisha out of the house. According to Rule 13 Section B Item 7 of your Real World on MTV rule book the fate of the house member who resorts to physical violence shall rest in the hands of the victim. I always carry that rule book and a spork in my back pocket. The spork's handy when free food breaks out unexpectedly but cutlery runs out before the ziti does. Regular occurrence at my college. I digress but please get used to it because I will do that a lot. Sans Trisha, the 2 girls left, Ashli and Kellyann, are pissed at Parisa for apparently being such a big target for physical violence. This is inexplicable because Trisha is the world's most annoying, self-centered, disconnected from reality, and immature bitch even by Real World bitch standards. In what looked like a obvious campaign for the now empty throne of mother bitch Kellyann and Ashli engage in the old tradition of spitting at a glass door while in a drunken stupor. Oh yeah, it was the glass door of the phone room with Parrisa in it. Ha! that should show her.
Now to the week that was...
The Week's Show...
Isaac is back. I love Isaac. I have a man crush on Isaac. He's on my short list for man of the year. He always seems to say exactly what I would say if I found myself on the set of the show. Not surprisingly his response to Trisha leaving was pretty much good riddance, saying to Kellyann .." hell no I don't like Trisha, nobody liked Trisha". Isaac being the man of the year candidate he is gives the other member of "Team Trisha", Ashli, an opportunity to list the redeeming qualities of Trisha. Here's the exhaustive list:
1.Trisha was fun to party with.
The End
Ashli and Kellyann are shown eating at a restaurant and apparently an epiphany was slipped into their drinks. Soon comes a sudden realization by the wicked witches of Sydney that Trisha was worse than most bitches. Now Kellyann wants to literally kiss and make up (or out) with Parisa. To my disappointment it looks like Parisa will forgive her (and yeah also disappointed they didn't make out). I was hoping Parisa would spit at Kellyann. Why do I feel so strongly about that? I need help.
In other developments... Dunbar and Ashli are now spooning every night but Dunbar makes a point to tell Ashli how much he loves his girlfriend, Julie, and doesn't want to cheat on her. Well you idiot then stop spooning Ashli, Dunbass. This is really like lighting a dynamite hooked up to ton of C-4 with all your kids gathered around the explosives to play "lets see who can let the dynamite rope burnt longest without exploding... blindfolded". Sooner or later someone will run out of rope. Predictably, Dunbar ends up boinking Ashli but doesn't tell the girlfriend only saying "You just might hate me... I'll tell you later".
Coming up Next Week
Kellyann and Cohutta might be in a family situation thanks to blown converage in the secondary.
Random Thoughts
Today's random thoughts we'll be focusing on the girls of Real World Sydney. I don't really see a reason to stray from that theme in the coming weeks unless my crush on Isaac has legs.
Random Thoughts
Today's random thoughts we'll be focusing on the girls of Real World Sydney. I don't really see a reason to stray from that theme in the coming weeks unless my crush on Isaac has legs.
- Ashli lets face it is not good looking at all, but Dunbar's girlfriend also isn't that good looking so its pretty much a wash for the angry man.
- Am I the only one that noticed how much better looking the girls are during the confessionals than lets say while lying on the bed talking about other roommates? Its night and day my friends. Is this a performance enhancing situation? Is BALCO involved in any way? Did the girls think it was flax seed oil? Do we need asterisk? Too many questions.
- Speaking of performance enhancers, how many push up bras does Kellyann own? I will now hypothesize an answer. Without getting too scientific... assuming she does laundry once a week and only wears clean underwear because a hook up is only a drink away. Then my analysis suggests the number must be around at least 7? No? More? I don't know that might be ....ummmm....pushing it.
- Its many weeks into this debacle (and I mean that in a good way) and I am still undecided on Parisa. Yeah she can be annoying but most times she's the most sane. Anyway the problem really is I am still trying to figure out if she's hot or not. The whole confessional vs. non-confessional look is making this tough but since I have a civil obligation to exercise my suffrage rights, I'd have to go no... all things considered. Face great, rest of the package is listed as questionable.
- Really Isaac makes a point about girls that I have echoed in the past. Girls will break up and make up 1700 times before lunch time any given day. The problem arises when they expect us guys to be on the same schedule.
- Quote of the show... Parrisa to Kellyann while Kellyann was trying to make up with her, "... you did pick (Trisha) over me!". Kellyann's response, "I had to pick somebody" in a very soft almost plaintiff tone. As in "well, I was in a very tough position there so I didn't pick you but now I do". This is why I haven't missed a show in 5 years. Who needs writers? You can't make this stuff up.
1 comment:
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