Reality Check: Isaac takes the Trisha out

As you know, I am an educated 25 year old African (non-American) male, built like a bouncer and a self proclaimed man amongst boys ... with a number exceptions. I am Real World addict, I have a legal admiration of Mylie Cyrus' musical works, an inexplicable infatuation with Kelly Clarkson's music and a very reluctant love for the Britney's new single "Piece of Me". Holy cow I love that song but I really wanna hate Britney just because she appears to be annoyingly idiotic. I hate to say that because that's the job of bully pulpit, high horse riding members of the media but Obi 6'4 230lbs The voice in the Wilderness gets around on low riding ponies so he doesn't criticize.

About that Real World on MTV thing. Hold your stones fellow real men. I can explain. See ... forget it ... alright just don't throw at my head. Done? Moving on ... I haven't missed a show in 5 seasons. I have a Bret Farve streak going here. I even stuck around for the entire Denver season which set me so far back the evolutionary scale that I had a temporary hunch and a mane on my back. I encourage you guys to start watching the show because its a testament to how far humans still have to go in evolutionary terms. I will try to offer a summary on each show going forward. This season we're in Sydney Australia.

Previously on The Real World...
Trisha hits Parisa and exclaims "Dad I just pushed a fat chic!". Stay classy, Trisha, stay classy. Parrisa retaliates by pushing Trisha out of the house. According to Rule 13 Section B Item 7 of your Real World on MTV rule book the fate of the house member who resorts to physical violence shall rest in the hands of the victim. I always carry that rule book and a spork in my back pocket. The spork's handy when free food breaks out unexpectedly but cutlery runs out before the ziti does. Regular occurrence at my college. I digress but please get used to it because I will do that a lot. Sans Trisha, the 2 girls left, Ashli and Kellyann, are pissed at Parisa for apparently being such a big target for physical violence. This is inexplicable because Trisha is the world's most annoying, self-centered, disconnected from reality, and immature bitch even by Real World bitch standards. In what looked like a obvious campaign for the now empty throne of mother bitch Kellyann and Ashli engage in the old tradition of spitting at a glass door while in a drunken stupor. Oh yeah, it was the glass door of the phone room with Parrisa in it. Ha! that should show her.

Now to the week that was...

The Week's Show...
Isaac is back. I love Isaac. I have a man crush on Isaac. He's on my short list for man of the year. He always seems to say exactly what I would say if I found myself on the set of the show. Not surprisingly his response to Trisha leaving was pretty much good riddance, saying to Kellyann .." hell no I don't like Trisha, nobody liked Trisha". Isaac being the man of the year candidate he is gives the other member of "Team Trisha", Ashli, an opportunity to list the redeeming qualities of Trisha. Here's the exhaustive list:

1.Trisha was fun to party with.

The End

Ashli and Kellyann are shown eating at a restaurant and apparently an epiphany was slipped into their drinks. Soon comes a sudden realization by the wicked witches of Sydney that Trisha was worse than most bitches. Now Kellyann wants to literally kiss and make up (or out) with Parisa. To my disappointment it looks like Parisa will forgive her (and yeah also disappointed they didn't make out). I was hoping Parisa would spit at Kellyann. Why do I feel so strongly about that? I need help.

In other developments... Dunbar and Ashli are now spooning every night but Dunbar makes a point to tell Ashli how much he loves his girlfriend, Julie, and doesn't want to cheat on her. Well you idiot then stop spooning Ashli, Dunbass. This is really like lighting a dynamite hooked up to ton of C-4 with all your kids gathered around the explosives to play "lets see who can let the dynamite rope burnt longest without exploding... blindfolded". Sooner or later someone will run out of rope. Predictably, Dunbar ends up boinking Ashli but doesn't tell the girlfriend only saying "You just might hate me... I'll tell you later".

Coming up Next Week

Kellyann and Cohutta might be in a family situation thanks to blown converage in the secondary.

Random Thoughts
Today's random thoughts we'll be focusing on the girls of Real World Sydney. I don't really see a reason to stray from that theme in the coming weeks unless my crush on Isaac has legs.

• Ashli lets face it is not good looking at all, but Dunbar's girlfriend also isn't that good looking so its pretty much a wash for the angry man.




• Am I the only one that noticed how much better looking the girls are during the confessionals than lets say while lying on the bed talking about other roommates? Its night and day my friends. Is this a performance enhancing situation? Is BALCO involved in any way? Did the girls think it was flax seed oil? Do we need asterisk? Too many questions.



• Speaking of performance enhancers, how many push up bras does Kellyann own? I will now hypothesize an answer. Without getting too scientific... assuming she does laundry once a week and only wears clean underwear because a hook up is only a drink away. Then my analysis suggests the number must be around at least 7? No? More? I don't know that might be ....ummmm....pushing it.



• Its many weeks into this debacle (and I mean that in a good way) and I am still undecided on Parisa. Yeah she can be annoying but most times she's the most sane. Anyway the problem really is I am still trying to figure out if she's hot or not. The whole confessional vs. non-confessional look is making this tough but since I have a civil obligation to exercise my suffrage rights, I'd have to go no... all things considered. Face great, rest of the package is listed as questionable.




• Really Isaac makes a point about girls that I have echoed in the past. Girls will break up and make up 1700 times before lunch time any given day. The problem arises when they expect us guys to be on the same schedule.



• Quote of the show... Parrisa to Kellyann while Kellyann was trying to make up with her, "... you did pick (Trisha) over me!". Kellyann's response, "I had to pick somebody" in a very soft almost plaintiff tone. As in "well, I was in a very tough position there so I didn't pick you but now I do". This is why I haven't missed a show in 5 years. Who needs writers? You can't make this stuff up.

Until next time normals... in violence everyone's a loser.

Wait... WTF! There's a cover?!?

BOOK OF RELATIONSHIPS CHAPTER 1 VERSE 1

People of the Normal,

As we go through our journey, my dear normal people, I will share more about my boring but very intriguing self but first I will like to rant about engagement rings. Thoughts like these are one of the reasons I consider myself useless to women ... especially of the normal ... but it doesn't have to be that way.

Yes sexually mature males, there is a cover charge to your own engagment. Not only is there a cover charge you are the DJ, the bouncer and the MC and you better put on a good show. About that cover...

As first reported on "Au Contraire, Mon Fraire!" it is customary for adult males to... how do the kids say it?... pop the question. Women are actually physically unable to do that **Pressing earpiece to ear now** I am being told that is not true. Sorry. Now you might think, "I'm taking on the risk of asking the question that should be enough. I shouldn't need anything else like a fruit basket or even a ring. Well, if I should need something it shouldn't cost more than $15, would it?" No not all you, but just bring the deed to the house just in case its a little over.

But why does it have to be that way? Why spend a mulitple of my monthly earnings on an engagement ring when it doesn't appreciate in value like my high growth mutual fund or pay quarterly dividend like a no growth conglomerate or at the very least turn into fresh baked biscuits when baked for 12 minutes at 375 deg? Why? Who made these rules and why am I subject to those rules in my own private relationship? Is there something in it for anyone besides jewlers?

Thats a lot of question, my men of the normal. Here's what I will do. I will survey ladies of the normal for their thoughts and follow with disparaging rebuttals. I hope I don't reveal the outcome when I say please continue to redirect your 401(k) contributions to the ring fund.


But first my heavily biased commentary on the matter....

For all the reasonable people of the normal out there please take out a calculator and mulitply your monthly salary by 3 .. heck even try 2 or 1 or 0.5. Now how many times have you spent that much money on something that didn't come with a roof and lead paint waivers? OK you get my drift. The concept of engagement rings is just one of those situations where an entire society has created a culture that each of the participants ( or at least half) in said society when individually questioned will in turn question that culture. Lets ignore the financial irresponsibility of it all and the thousands of genocides that blood diamonds have contributed to for a second but lets look at how it reflects on women. As a woman doesn't it make you feel like another discretional spending item.

First on CNBC... The University of Michigan consumer confidence report is down 50 basis points year over year, their lowest levels in 20 months. Experts forecast a deflationary effect on the price of cosumer discretionaries such as electronics, luxury retail and of course women

Speaking of selling out ... lets work the poles... i mean polls.

Here are the popular responses to the query regarding the logic behind expensive engagment rings.

REASON 1
What will people say if I don't have an engagment ring?

DISPARAGING REBUTTAL
"HAHAHA!! You mean you didn't wipe out your savings and jeopardize your financial future in order to buy a piece of over priced bling bling?" That? And who are these people, Ja Rule? Playa please!

REASON 2
Because its a symbol of what I mean to him. A symbol of our love. It shows how much he cares.

DISPARAGING REBUTTAL
Really? You're telling me that the fact that your partner is willing to give up on the chances of ever scoring with the scores of chics you catch him starring at at the mall is not enough to show you he cares? Are you aware Nature's mandate and pretty much every hormone in his body is against your future holy union. People that say blood is stronger than water haven't been introduced to hormones yet and quite frankly need to make time for lunch with Nature. But somehow an expensive ring proves to you he's serious. Are YOU serious?

REASON 3
Well, everyone else does it so he has to ... as a man.

DISPARAGING REBUTTAL
That reason works for things that occur in the public arena where more than 2 people are involved. For example, you can't strike a deal with the manager of a high class restaurant to allow you in in a bathing suit... people are trying to eat, unless you're Jessica Alba in which case its probably the set of "Into the Blue" so thats fine. As the spender if he doesn't think spending 3x salary on a ring is a good idea then why can't a man NOT do it? If women think its a good idea, I'm not exactly sure why they can't purchase one for themselves. May be even 2 to keep up with the Everyone-ses. And if our society is so distraught at the decision not to "wring" out your savings on bling then please offer the following Jim Nance-ian press release "Hello Friends! Mary and I have decided to exchange engagement arts and crafts projects instead of diamond rings. Mary got a quilt and I got the wrong half of a peace sign. I hope you find it in you to excuse our common sense. Thanks".

REASON 4
Because its from my husband-to-be so that makes it really special.

DISPARAGING REBUTTAL
Is it because its something from him or because it was, in advertising terms, brought to you by him? Alright here's a proposal ... no not that proposal. Homeboy will invest his valuable time and energy travelling to Zales to pick out a ring. On the way he will deal with pushy sales people and the disgrace of looking like another drone that caved under pressure to spend 3x salary in jewerly. Only difference is you paid for the piece of jewerly (but he did everything else). You wouldn't even feel a thing... as long as you avoid that priceless December Mastercard bill that is. Would that be okay? No?


I sound like a hater... please don't get me wrong. I really only truly barely hate The Fitness Made Simple Guy and not much else. Women are great... in future blogs I will tell you how great I think they are but they can be irrational. My simple point is this: Why is the whole enslaved by the irrationalilty of half. Take a stand, don't be a drone. When you propose to your man or woman tune down the TV and really take time to tell your partner how much you love them and how spending the rest of your lives together is the only way your's can go on (because really there's a writer's strike in progress). You don't need diamond a ring for that. In all seriousness, try a well crafted engagement peom. Its from the heart, it shows how much you're loved, its special... granted everyone's not doing it.

Until next time normals... don't lose your wallet.

First The Baptism

Hello and welcome to the gospel according to me. Who am I? Obi 6'4 230lbs, The voice in the Wilderness.

A little background, college education was in Texas (Universtity of Texas at Dallas '03) and graduated summa cum claude with a degree in Computer Science. Recently I earned myself a Master's Degree in Information Technology from RPI. Alright I will now put the resume away. But why am I telling you all this? Well, its so you know I am not against EVERYTHING mainstream although this blog will challenge you to hold on to that assessment.

What is this blog about? The better question is what is not about. Its certainly not about anything you've heard before. Its my view on many different issues ranging from relationships, religion, the media, TV, sports, the economy, politics and even health and fitness tips. But again why would you care what Obi 6'4 230lbs, The voice in the Wilderness has to say. Well, I guarantee you you've probably never heard it before and it will make you think or laugh or both.

I write what you're thinking and wouldn't say and I say what you would say if they you weren't thinking. I don't aim to provoke, I hope to enlighten and enpower. My goal is to help you separate your original idea of right and wrong from the adulterated version that has taken over. With every blog entry I will leave with something to think about.

So open your mind, lose your predujices, grab a helmet and pack a lunch because Obi 6'4 230lbs, The voice in the Wilderness is about let you in.... Ready? Lets go!

Allelujah halla back